Annals of Kanoe - Volume XI-XV

When: July 26-27, 1997

Who attended:

Pave, Fish, Wil, Vich, Furree, McKay, Jones, and Grass

A memorable pre-Kanoe event:

Vich called up Kerrick Canoes to reserve kanoes. The guy he spoke to said they were all booked up for that day. Vich asked the guy if he knew of any other place he could get a canoe, because he and several friends were going on a trip down the Susquehanna that weekend. The guy then apparently made a mental connection and asked, "You're not with that group that was in the paper, are you?". Vich said "Sure am!" The guy said, "Well in that case, of course we have kanoes!"

Most memorable events:

• Started a new Kanoe tradition - Sunday brunch at Alice's Restaurant on Main St. in Towanda.

Click on these picture icons to expand some memorable images from the trip:

Can't find my Kanoe XI pics ... I'll scan them when I locate them.

When: July 25-26, 1998

Who attended:

Pave, Fish, Wil, Vich, Furree, McKay, Rocky, and Grass

1st Annual Friday Night Awards (for Kanoe 11 performance and achievements):

• Wil presented the first annual Storyteller of the Year award to Vich (first recipient is recognized for lifetime achievement).
• Wil presented the first annual Kanoester of the Year award to Pave (first recipient is recognized for lifetime achievement).
• Grass presented the Comeback Player of the Year award to Fish for doing 5 shotguns.

Most memorable events:

• First time we ever launched before noon: 11:57 a.m.
• Grass retained the Shotgunner of the Year title with 6.
• Played 16 games of Pass the Pigs, with Vich ending it all with a sider in the bullseye.
• Rocky traveled the farthest ... flying in from Arizona.
• Boo missed this year because he attending the NJ State Police Academy.

Click on these picture icons to expand some memorable images from the trip:

Gatherin' wood	Settin' up camp	Eatin' and drinkin'
Campfire	Fish shotgunnin'	At the sign
Pave playin' pigs	Sleepin' Rasta McKay	The launch
River vikings	Grass's big gut	Fish choppin' wood
Pave chainsawin'	Around the fire	Rocky cookin' shrimp
Playin' Pigs	Vich's bullseye Sider	Vich's bullseye Sider
Vich's bullseye Sider	Grass the penis head	At the sign
Storyteller award to Vich	Storyteller award to Vich	God Bless America!
Grass shotgunnin'	Fish shotgunnin'	Fish: Comeback player
Fish: Comeback player	Leavin' Standing Stone	Sunday morning pullin' out
	Kanoester of Year Award

When: July 31-August 1, 1999

Who attended:

Pave, Fish, Wil, Vich, Furree, McKay, Boo, and Grass

2rd Annual Friday Night Awards (for Kanoe 12 performance and achievements):

• Fish received the Kanoester of the Year award (for his out-of-nowhere challenge to Dud for the Shotgunning title ... nobody but Dud had tried for years).
• Fish also received the Storyteller of the Year award (time for some Yuengling!) ... a sweep!

Most memorable events:

• It rained on and off - enough to cause us to call it an unusually early night!

Click on these picture icons to expand some memorable images from the trip:

Vich was late	Award	The lineup
Floating	Swimming	Floating more
Swimming at the Stone	Swimming at the Stone	By the fire
Furree splitting wood	Vich chainsawing	Dud being Dud
Pigs	Pigs	Furree gunnin'
Fish gunnin'	Dud gunnin'	Another one of Vich

When: July 29-30, 2000

Who attended:

Pave, Fish, Wil (surprise appearance), Vich, Furree, Rocky, and Grass

3rd Annual Friday Night Awards (for Kanoe 13 performance and achievements):

• Grass received the Kanoester of the Year award. Fish said, "Kanoe 13 was basically a Dud of a year for us with the dismal weather, and it seemed appropriate that Dud win the award. Seriously, Dud won for superior valor in the face of adversity. He was a true trooper sitting out in the rain, telling some of his best stories ever, and of course keeping up his shotgun tradition."
• Grass also received the Storyteller of the Year award (golf-course bride's-maid) ... second consecutive sweep!
• Grass said: "The comeback player award was for 'gunning. Since nobody made an attempt at the title, the award was not presented this year."

Most memorable events:

• Wil showed up after saying he wouldn't make it because of work.
• It poured overnight ... but not before we'd called it a night.
• Wil got a paddle tattoo on his ankle on Stumble Night.
• Wil brought a substitute Jones (a blow-up doll) for beer spitting.
• We kicked all of our beer for the first time ever.
• Had way too much food - steaks, chicken spiedies, ...
• Rocky caught a bass using Furree's pole and license.
• Two motors, for a dual-powered kanoe barge.
• Furree brought the mammoth "Pavilion" canopy, which saved us from the Sunday morning downpour.
• Grass broke his own shotgun record with seven. Here are his post-game comments:

  Date: Tue, 8 Aug 2000 19:30:42 -0400
  From: [email protected]
  Subject: RE: how many shotguns?
  I was told the previous record was six. I did seven this year and I think we have a photo of the cans. I was well on my way to double figures. I definitely had my "A" game. There was only one thing that could stop me and that was running out of O.M. Well, those are the breaks.

• The week after the trip, McKay (who missed the trip) suggested that Grass's nickname be changed to Gunner. Seems appropriate.

Click on these picture icons to expand some memorable images from the trip:

Another great Furreemobile	The launch	Paddling hard
Smoking & Fishing	Downstream	Furree's Pavilion canopy
At the sign	Jones w/ ear of corn	Spitting beer on Jones
Jones on canopy roof	Rainy Sunday morning	Vich motorin' home
Leaving the Stone	Amphibian Fish	Sunday breakfast at Kate's

When: July 28-29, 2001

Who attended:

Pave, Fish, Wil, Vich, Furree, McKay, Jones, and Grass

4th Annual Friday Night Awards (for Kanoe 14 performance and achievements):

• McKay nominated (Pave seconded) that Grass' nickname be changed to Gunner. All in favor except for Furree and Wil. (editor's note: by the end of the night we had all pretty much concluded that Gunner was a failed nickname, and Grass or Dud were back in).
• "Gunner" presented story of the year: Vich for Czech Republic dance floor humilitation story
• "Gunner" presented Kanoester of the year: Wil for "lifetime achievement" (even though it was agreed that he also deserved it based on last year's events alone). Memorable lifetime events that were mentioned: bringing everything under the sun (from pot to pot holders, porn, jiffy pop, fireworks, ...), sacrificing underwear for kindling, Ham Sammich, ...
• I don't know who got Comeback player of the year.
• Vich and "Gunner" presented Kanoe XV shorts, after which Wil said "This is like fuckin' Christmas!"
• McKay gave out Danbury mint PSU pickup trucks to PSUers Fish, Pave, and "Gunner".

Most memorable events:

• Jones and Vich were over an hour late for the launch (they got there at about 1pm), drawing the considerable ire of the other Kanoesters.
• Sunny and warm (about 75deg). Great weather for the first time in 3 years.
• "Dueling Banjos" was played about 20 times. Still not enough!
• Andre Chenot and friends were swimming at the rock, including climbing up onto and jumping off the rock.
• The Year of the Shotgun:
  • Jones and Furree pushed "Gunner" to unbelievable (and scary) new heights:
    • Furree: 11 guns, no pukes
    • Jones: 12 guns, 2 pukes
    • "Gunner": 13 guns, 1 epic puke
  • Furree, after about 7 or 8, incessantly claimed "Pound for Pound I'm the best god-damn drinker here" for the next couple of hours until he passed out.
  • Jones performed the first ever double (i.e., two guns without stopping for a second in between). His double was shortly followed by doubles by Furree and "Gunner", in addition to one or two more doubles for Jones himself.
  • Jones: "Give me a horseshoe ... I don't want none of that goddamn nonsense", referring to his preferred style of opening cut into the beer can.
  • This was a performance that is likely to never be replicated. I think I can speak for everybody [the relatively sober bystanders who began to fear death (either their own via alcohol-induced stupidness, or that of a gunner via alcohol poisoning), and the gunners themselves] when I say that's a good thing.
• "Gunner" gets the "Tease of the Year" award for starting, but failing to complete even one of the 4x22 stories. Granted, he passed out in mid story Saturday night, but there's always Sunday morning!

Click on these picture icons to expand some memorable images from the trip:

Following the kanoes	Great Towanda truck	Traditional send-off
Driftin'	Locals jumping off Stone	Huh?
Sign close-up	Sign gunnin'	Lighting pigs
Dud's favorite snack	Dud and Rocky	Jones' demonstration
Triple gun	Dud and Furree	More gunnin'
Departure	Sunday breakfast	Sunday golf

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